I have recently been able to come to terms with a few things in my life. One of the most important things I’ve made peace with is my body image. I no longer put myself through the punishing exercise regimen I once performed relentlessly. I still exercise; I just do what I enjoy and whenever I feel like doing it.
This change in attitude has given me a much more positive outlook and made me happier in general. However, about a week ago, while driving to work, I noticed a treadmill sitting all alone in the middle of a dirt parking lot. This treadmill was not there before, I am certain of it. It just suddenly appeared. Is it just me or is this just too much of a coincidence? Perhaps it is an omen of some sort?
It has been a hot summer this year and I have not been on my own treadmill much due the 85˚ temperature inside my house. I can’t really run or walk outside either because the bugs are so bad where I live that I would rather fill my candy dish with Dexatrim than set one foot outside, exposing myself to those nasty flying vampires. (It is like something out of a Stephen King novel! There is wave after wave of new species of the horrible blood-suckers, making summer almost intolerable to me. Bring on the fall!)
The worst is a group of insects that were unknown to me until I moved to this area (I was born and raised on Campobello Island): crotch tails. Forgive me if that name sounds a bit crude but is the only name I’ve ever heard them called. If you’re not familiar with the crotch tail, picture a set of shark’s teeth with translucent wings and equipped with nitrous oxide. I am required to start riding my bike when the crotch tails arrive because I can’t outrun them. I can barely out-pedal them. If I happen upon any steep hills, I end up with more skin bumps than a pickle.
Anyway, I don’t think I will return to my previous insane-type-workout schedule any time soon but, since I saw that lone treadmill glaring resentfully at me as I drove by, I’m a little bit scared. I think I will have to dust off mine when I get home tonight. Or, careen across that parking lot and nail the other one with my car. Hmmm…decisions, decisions.
